Off the Bookshelf: MY NAME IS MARKHAM and THE STEAM-PUMP JUMP and SHIPS AND STINGS AND WEDDING RINGS, by Jodi Taylor

 

Audible, Audiobooks

Narrated by Piers Wehner and Zara Ramm

The Chronicles of St. Mary's series

Three more shorts from the Chronicles of St. Mary's -- because it's time travel, when you get down to the bottom line.

Lots of fun!

First: My Name is Markham, in which Mr. Markham reports on an assignment in his own inimitable style, and unique opinion on time travel and historians and administrators and getting a really difficult assignment at Christmas, which he has to pull off between rehearsal for the Christmas party and participating. Poor Markham, so misunderstood, and always trying to save the day. In this case, he gets to dress up as yet another servant and investigate the legend of Alfred and whether or not he really burned the cakes. In this case, the historians might just be changing history by the "simple" act of observing. And then of course, getting in trouble with their boss when they return just in time to perform the Christmas play.

Then in the Steam-Pump Jump, Max is out of commission, seriously injured, and she has to rely on Markham to help her play matchmaker during a mission. Markham is at his commonsense snarky best as he carries out his assignment with much grumbling and exasperation, when the targeted lovebirds don't seem to be cooperating, technology fanatics are out of control, and political differences lead to more grumbling and sniping than Markham can handle.

Finishing up with Ships and Stings and Wedding Rings, Max, Markham and Peterson are on a rescue mission -- in this case, rescuing one of their own, who broke a cardinal rule and left a dangerous modern item behind in Ancient Egypt. They need to retrieve it before chaos ripples down through the centuries. Problem: it's hot, there are a lot of bugs, Max is uncomfortably pregnant, and just when victory is in their hands, disaster strikes.

And that's all I'm gonna tell you -- except that yes, as usual, all three stories are lovely, fun, snarky British humor that will keep you in your car or taking your walk long enough to finish the story and get to the final snark and grumble -- and grinning all the while. I'm addicted!

New release sample: RETURN OF THE LIVING PROOF

 

"Just some old beads." I shrugged and turned the key in the ignition.

"Would you mind?" She stopped just short of pressing her hand against the glass.

"Sorry, we're really running late. You can see it tomorrow when we come back."

"That would be great. You … you wouldn't happen to have any more of those beads, would you?" She chuckled, but the sound had lost its warmth and sounded brittle, and somehow chilly. "I collect beads. Especially unique old ones like those."

"I don't think so." I put the Jeep in reverse, and she finally got the hint and backed away. "See you tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow." Kerri bared her teeth in a thin smile and backed up to the sidewalk of the building. She stood there, watching us, holding onto that smile that made me think of sharks ready to go into a frenzy, until I had backed up and turned and drove out of the parking lot.

Pete watched her in the rearview mirror and didn't move, and maybe didn't even breathe, until we had put the Neighborlee Schools property between us and her.

"We are not going back, are we?" he muttered.

"Our folks didn't raise no dummies." 

I took the last possible street to turn left and head for Divine's. Something in me didn't want friendly little Miss Kerri to get the slightest hint of where I was going. If I could have, I would have taken the long way around, but gut instinct was insisting I had to get to Divine's and show that contract to Angela ASAP.

Upcoming release sample: ALLERGIC TO MISTLETOE

 

"Ken--" Jo choked, and pressed trembling hands to her face as it flushed cherry red.

"Say yes?"

Everyone cheered as Jo held out her hand, and he slipped the ring on her finger.

Maurice cheered with the rest of them, but it was an effort. The sound caught in his throat and he wilted a little inside. He retreated to the edge of the counter, to sit and kick his legs and watch the decorating party turn into an engagement party.

"Maurice." Lanie wheeled over and pivoted her chair so she could watch everyone else gathered around Jo and Ken. With all the noise of talk and laughter, it was a given no one could hear her talking to him. "Tell me something."

"Sure." He could barely tear his gaze away from Holly, who had her arm around Jo and nearly bounced up and down with excitement, chattering away.

"How serious are you about Holly?"

He thought about making a joke, but that defense no longer worked. He wilted a little more. "Serious enough to hurt."

"I think you're just what Holly needs."

"Hah! Five inches tall, invisible and impossible to hear, and we can only talk four times a year, if we're lucky. Yeah, she needs me like a..." He couldn't think of something miserable enough to compare himself to.

"Holly needs an enchanted prince, and you're pretty close. The question is if you'll stick around after you get your size and your magic back. I don't want you hurting her."

"Never!"

Lanie studied him solemnly for several long moments, then a slow smile graced her face. She nodded. "That's good enough for me. Let's see what we can do to get the two of you together."

"It's gonna take a miracle, that's all I can say. "

"Maurice..." Mischief lit her dark eyes. "It's Christmas. It's the season of miracles."

Off the Bookshelf: AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT and THE GREAT ST. MARY'S DAY OUT, by Jodi Taylor

 

Audible, Audiobooks

The Chronicles of St. Mary's series

Narrated by Zara Ramm

Two more "short" stories about the time-traveling historians of St. Mary's.

First is a totally new take on time travel -- when it involves a trip to Mars. The Time Police are on the verge of a coronary, as they get a verbal report and try to give a dressing-down to the director in their timeline, who includes our friends from the more familiar "first" St. Mary's group, including Dr. Maxwell, in a jaunt to Mars to witness the first Mars landing. And of course get involved and almost mess up -- or perhaps save the day -- when history doesn't seem to be going the way it should.

'Nuff said! (meaning you need to listen, not just let me tell you about it)

Then, the gang from St. Mary's is granted a holiday, when they get a chance to witness the very first performance of Hamlet, with Shakespeare playing the ghost of the murdered king. It's supposed to be just a fun day out, but of course, anything that can go wrong will and does .... and Mr. Markham, our unlikely Shakespearean fanatic, jumps in to save the day. Maybe ... Well, what are you going to do when the Bard is set on fire and then gets knocked loopy so he can't deliver his lines?

Listen to this one and find out!

Major fun. As usual.

New release sample: RETURN OF THE LIVING PROOF

 

"We've never had anything happen like that before. Totally inexcusable. I can assure you, we don't run our business like that." She tried to laugh, and brushed some hair out of her face, which had come loose from the immaculate, businesslike chignon.

"Well, I should warn you, since you're setting up business here." I paused to smile and try to read that flicker of something in her eyes. Something dark. Maybe anger? Or apprehension? "This is Neighborlee, the weirdness capital of the state, if not the country. Your realtor should have warned you that odd things happen on a regular basis. Maybe you can get out of the contract if you claim that vital information was withheld." I laughed, and she laughed with me. The sound was brittle and I swear there was an odd sensation of an echo, muffled almost the moment I heard it. "Sorry to take off like that, while you were running around. We really have to get to that appointment before we get in more trouble than we already are."

"Right. Right. So, you'll come back tomorrow? Any time is good. No need to make an appointment. Or you could come back after your appointment, this afternoon."

"Tomorrow is great." I nodded and looked pointedly at my door, to warn her, before I pulled it shut.

"See you tomorrow!" She gave me a chipper smile and backed up a couple steps until she was on the sidewalk in front of the door. Then she loosely wrapped her arms around herself and stood there, watching us, until I put the key in the ignition.

"Oh, wait -- could I see that?" She darted back across the crumbling blacktop, holding out her hand.

I was suddenly very glad the window was rolled up, even though the day was so humid.

"What is that? On your keychain." Her smile widened a little more, and honestly, with the weird vibrations I was getting, I wouldn't have been surprised if her teeth were pointed.

Upcoming release sample: ALLERGIC TO MISTLETOE

 

Maurice didn't visit Holly as often as he would have liked. At fall equinox, he had managed to spend three hours in the library, talking with her, and then he went to a movie with her, Meggie, Diane and Troy. Ever since then, Holly hadn't been as happy in her dreams. It hurt her that she couldn't remember him during the day.

Sometimes he thought about going away, leaving her dreams alone from now on, but he admitted he was too selfish to make that kind of sacrifice. He had no idea how much longer he could go on, showing up at equinox and solstice and Christmas Eve, tormenting himself with the hope that this time, when he looked into her eyes and she could see him, she would remember him from her dreams.

"Maurice." Angela stepped up behind the counter and lightly brushed a fingertip along the top of his folded wings.

"Huh? Oh." Maurice blushed, despite knowing only a few people could see him, sitting and moping on the bent leg of the dragon stand that held the Wishing Ball. "Sorry. Wishing time already?" He leaped up into the air and gained enough altitude for a good view as the members of the decorating party took their turns picking up an ornament and making their wishes.

When Jo stepped up to take her ornament, Ken offered her a slightly larger ball, crystal and gold instead of the dark, metallic rainbow swirls. Maurice saw the ball's seam and hinge. He turned a triple somersault in mid-air. Something was inside the ornament.

"It's about time, you big goof!" he crowed, and earned some soft laughter from Diane, Troy, and Lanie, who were close enough to hear him.

"You're breaking tradition," Jo said, laughing, as she took the ornament from Ken.

"This is a new tradition." He bent to kiss her softly and quickly on the lips. "Just open it, okay?" 

Jo blushed and opened the ornament. A diamond ring nestled among glittery silver and white cotton. Pale, her eyes went wide. She dropped the ornament and ring, but Ken caught them. He was on one knee in front of her.

At the Movies: SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS

 

Marvel Studios does it again. Really, that's all you need to know.

Major fun movie. And do I need to point out how fun it is to see the trailers at the end of the movie, pointing at what's going to happen in future movies?

I'm not really "into" martial arts stuff. Maybe because my little brother is SO very much into Bruce Lee, and you can overdose on that stuff, know what I mean? But I'm glad my friend Barb asked if I wanted to see it. Practically a private showing.

Lots of grins, laughter, inside jokes, some silliness, and those tense moments where you're sitting forward in your seat and ready to grab the armrest. (Oh, dang, I folded up the armrest, there's nothing to hold onto!)

Shang-Chi -- known as Shaun by his friend, Katie (the voice of Sisu in Raya and the Last Dragon, and the thief girl in Jumanji: Next Level, who was a lot of fun "channeling" Danny Devito!) -- is basically living a dull life, getting by as a parking attendant and pretending to be a mild mannered, ordinary guy. Until he's attacked by a bunch of well-armed brutes on the bus on his way to work (fortunately, Katie is a great driver, because things get dicey!)  and he reveals he can out-Bruce Bruce. Why pick on him? They want the pendant his mother left him. Turns out it's half of a key to find the mystical land his mother came from. But there's a problem: namely, dear old Dad, who is several thousand years old, wearer and bearer of the Ten Rings, a retired warlord and world conqueror who temporarily gave up his conquest for domestic bliss ... until that bliss ended. How? Why? What does he want now with the pendant?

Nah .... ain't gonna tell you. Go watch the movie! Several times. You'll love it. Like I said, Marvel has done it again. I'm almost ready to forgive them for the downer ending to End Game. Almost.

New release sample: RETURN OF THE LIVING PROOF

 

Cerb darted through the door into the back room, and Kerri and her two henchmen raced after him. There were toppled boxes everywhere and yard decorations on stakes sticking up at all sorts of odd angles that somehow gave a spiky torture chamber look to the front office. The ornaments included the expected flamingos, cows, clowns, frogs, birthday cakes, storks, and some creepy looking black cats, gnomes, leprechauns, and I swear, an entire brigade of Gollums. Hopefully they had a licensing agreement with New Line Cinema and whoever on Peter Jackson's team created that ugly little stinker.

Pete agreed with me. The gnomes and leprechauns looked more creepy than cute. But that was later, on our short drive to Divine's Emporium. We knew better than to say anything until we were safely off that property.

Kerri came running out the door, looking a little frazzled, just as I was climbing into the front seat of the Jeep and Pete was folding up my wheelchair. For just a second, and it was more than just a trick of lighting and shadow, there was something skeletal about her face. Especially the hint of bare teeth and glaring, black eye sockets.

"I'm so sorry," she said, sounding a little breathless. She reached out like she would lean on the door, or maybe try to stop me from closing it. But she stopped with her hand less than an inch away and sort of flinched. Like maybe she felt something she didn't like, or maybe something about my Jeep hurt her. 

That might be useful to know. Although looking back later, I decided I didn't want to be in a situation where I would need to use that bit of knowledge.

Upcoming release sample: ALLERGIC TO MISTLETOE

 

Then a big part of the reason for his change walked into the shop, with another group of volunteer decorators.

Holly.

Maurice kept watch on her as she opened the boxes of new decorations he had kept hidden until her arrival. He perched on the branches of the tree just below her eye level, anxious for some flicker of reaction. Other than delight in the golden spun glass stars, delicate as thistledown, she showed no hint of recognition.

Last night in her dreams, they had decorated a tree using those ornaments. Maurice had hoped something would remain from her dream, to come into the light of day and brush against her conscious thoughts. He consoled himself that he would have time with her on Christmas Eve day, when he was full-size, an ordinary man. When she could see him. He planned to meet Holly at the library, ask her to walk with him through Neighborlee and look at the decorations, and sit beside her for Christmas Eve dinner.

For now, though, all he could do was watch her and brush against her fingers when she reached up to hang the ornaments. Their ornaments, from their shared tree, even if only a dream tree.

At least Holly had been happy last night, so excited about Christmas and the decorating party at Divine's. She had only mentioned once that she wished he could come to the party. He thought maybe there had been a tear in one eye, while they sang songs. He told her about his cousin Angeloria, who was allergic to holly and mistletoe, thanks to being present when Charles Dickens wrote Scrooge's infamous line, hoping Christmas well-wishers died with a stake of holly through their hearts.

Off the Bookshelf: THE STORY EQUATION, by Susan May Warren

 

I've had this book sitting on my bedside table since the Mt. Zion Ridge Press writing conference, when Rachel Hauck recommended it. Nice thing about online conferences (besides being able to wear shorts and not having to shave your legs) is that you can look up a book recommended by the teacher and order it, while she's talking, and nobody knows you've been shopping!

HIGHLY recommend this book. No matter how many books you have under your belt, it's always very helpful, refreshing, to learn other approaches to organizing and understanding your story, the characters, their flaws and wounds and goals and dreams. This one came in very handy, the perfect timing, because as I started reading I was preparing to work on the second draft of two books, both of which have very close deadlines. One I imposed on myself, the other imposed on me by my publisher. 

Relief! As I read through Warren's examples I found some answers to questions I hadn't really been asking my characters, and realized I had huge holes in the story. In one book, my heroine was basically living the story of the heroine of the previous book in the series, standing on the sidelines and cheering for her friend, and not getting on with her own story. Well, duh!

The subtitle says it all: How to Plot and Write a Brilliant Story From One Powerful Question.

Dang, I really need to get more books by Susan May Warren, creator of My Book Therapy. I really do. We all need help sometimes. Thanks!!

Read it. Apply it. You'll be happy you did.

New release sample: RETURN OF THE LIVING PROOF

 

Cerb tore into the office again, as if she hadn't closed the door. Even as I thought that and turned to look, the door swung open, with no one touching it. I swallowed down a bubble of laughter that probably would have sounded half-hysterical if I had let it out. He jumped up onto an empty desk sitting on the other side of the room, then leaped from it to a stack of boxes. They immediately tipped over and flat lawn ornaments on stakes slid out and across the floor. Cerb rode the wave down, his legs going like a hamster in a wheel. Kerri shrieked, and her voice cracked and turned harsh as she lunged across the office. Two men darted in from the back room. They were both dressed all in black and looked somehow dusty and grimy, and just as pale as her. Cerb howled and ran faster, sending lawn ornaments flying in all directions for a few seconds. It looked like a Loony Tunes montage for a few seconds before he skittered down to the floor, got firm footing, and leaped up onto another desk.

Our eyes met, and he gave me a look that very clearly said, What are you waiting for, stupid?

I muffled a chuckle and turned to reach for that folder. Pete beat me to it. He grinned and handed me the contract. It stung my fingertips until I shoved it into the pocked on the side of my wheelchair, out of sight. I rubbed my fingers together, and half-expected to find them smoking or maybe red like a couple dozen bees had stabbed them. 

"Strategic retreat?" Pete grabbed the handles of my chair to pull me back from Kerri's desk before I could even inhale to respond with an intended, "Heck yeah!"

Upcoming release: ALLERGIC TO MISTLETOE

 

Coming November 1!

Looking for some holiday romance and magic and humor?

This is the place!

Christmas in Neighborlee means magic. This year more than ever. The Fae have come to visit. And hide. And seek true love.

 

Lori is allergic to mistletoe, thanks to a traumatic encounter with Dickens. She comes to Neighborlee to hide from matchmaking relatives.

 

Bethany just wants a quiet Christmas with her dad, but her rising stardom is getting in the way. Her double magical heritage just complicates things.

 

Harry might be able to help her, thanks to a malfunctioning invisibility spell.

 

Wilfred and Philomena are best friends, have been for centuries, and want to be much more. Do they have the courage to admit it to each other?

 

Then there's Maurice. The terms of his exile interfere with his courtship of Holly, the librarian who can only see him in her dreams.

 

They all need a Christmas miracle.

 

UPDATE: Filking Contest .... prolonged ....

Back in early September, I announced a filking contest related to the release of the 3rd AFV Defender book, ALL THE BOYS I'VE LOATHED BEFORE.

Loathe will be delayed in releasing in December, as originally planned.

Look for it in mid-2022.

In its place will be the first Middle Grade novel in the AFV Defender series tie-in, YOUNG DEFENDERS.

This will be a series of stories about the children growing up on board the Defender.

The plan (subject to catastrophes and life generally getting in the way) will be for the audiobook to be released at the same time as the print and ebook versions of the story. Due for release December 1. Just in time for Christmas shopping!

Stay tuned for more data as the cover art and logo and other parts are developed!

Off the Bookshelf: TRIBES, by Seth Godin

 

Different speakers in different classes and marketing podcasts and publishing forums have been recommending this book for years. I finally bought it (way too easy to do if you have multiple ebook reading apps to choose from!) and got started, three or four chapters at a time.

Short, pithy chapters, all dealing with thinking outside the box, taking risks, being a heretic, finding your own tribe of people who think as you do (or want to think differently with you) and multiple examples of people who broke out of the status quo and shattered the mold, and succeeded by being different.

Whew! Kind of scary. I think I would have gotten more out of this book if I had read the chapters closer together. I made the mistake of making this my "standing in line" book -- meaning I only pulled it out to read (on my phone) when I was waiting somewhere. I need to re-read it, but in the next few weeks, I have some ideas I want to experiment with ... Why not take a chance? What have I got to lose? Maybe a lot to gain.

New release sample: RETURN OF THE LIVING PROOF

 My phone rang. Angela.

"Loralee is here, highly agitated, and Maurice says you need to get out of wherever you are," she told me.

"Yeah, thanks. We were just figuring it out now." I glanced sideways at Pete. "We'll be right there. Sorry about that. I completely forgot we had an appointment."

"This is going to be interesting," Angela said, and hung up.

"You have no idea," I said, smiling as if I thought the person on the other end, who wasn't there anymore, could see me. "See you in five."

I tapped the red button on the phone, as if the connection was still open, and slipped my phone into my pocket. Just in time to stop my keychain from slipping out. Weird. I was always careful to get my keychain deep into my pocket before I got out of my Jeep. Thanks to that scare with the failed carjacker.

"I'm sorry," I told Kerri. "Totally messed up here. We've got an appointment on the other side of town. Could I take the contract with me and read it over and sign it at home, then bring it back tomorrow?" 

"Sorry, no can do. We need to have it notarized upon being signed. I'm a notary," she added with another sweet chuckle. Kerri slid the contract into a folder sitting on the far side of her desk and stood up. "When would be convenient for you to come --" She cut herself off with a snarly shriek.