Warning: this is a Tolkein parody like no parody I've ever heard before. Not that I've actually listened to or read all that many, but ... *snort* *giggle* *groan*
Poor Nigel, the guy who wants so much to be popular and successful with the girls and impress people, with a smart mouth and a talent for making all the wrong choices. He finally messes up so badly he gets sent off to military school. One bright spot: he's finally getting away from too-perfect Lance .... but Lance who was there and participated in the prank that went so terribly wrong, so everybody in their village hates Nigel ... he turns himself in, essentially volunteering to spend the rest of his life in the military. With Nigel. They're surrounded by drill sergeants who hate them and idiots and clueless commanders. Then war with the Gorks is declared. Nigel has been working so hard to get himself thrown out of military school, so he doesn't have to go to war ... and just when he isn't trying, he messes up so bad he and Lance get banished. And sent on a quest that makes no sense.
Why do I say it's a parody of Tolkein? Well, there are the magical panties (9 rings of power), the Cufflinks of Doom (one ring to rule them all), Lord Smoron (Sauron), and the enormous sniffing nose in the void that keeps getting closer every time Nigel uses the amulet of power (the Eye of Sauron). Oh yeah, and a Halfling named Elbow, who went on an epic quest 2,000 years ago ... but if Nigel and Lance and their Gork ally, Eldrack, have anything to do with it, the quest will never have happened ... maybe.
Not bad for a trio of fourteen-year-olds. What kind of trouble will they get into next?
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