The Adventure: JPC ALLEN, pt. 2 of "How to Describe Characters in Show Don't Tell"

How to Describe Characters in Show Don’t Tell

CONTINUED FROM THURSDAY

The "handle" is Terence O'Neil looks likes Rae's idea of a professor, which invites the reader to think of their idea of a professor. Then I add some specific traits.

Another candidate for Rae's father is the sheriff, Walter R. Malinowski IV: “He was one of the few people I'd met who made me feel short. Close to six-six, with biceps bulging like pumpkins under a rumpled button-down shirt, he could easily become the next Thor if he grew out his blond crewcut and added a beard.”

The "handle" is that he looks like Thor. Blonde crewcut and his height and bulging biceps are the specific traits. Readers are reminded that Rae is tall--maybe inheriting that feature from the sheriff if he's her father?--and that she likes superhero movies.

The last candidate is Jason Carlisle, a businessman and a member of the wealthiest family in the county. “Besides being fashionable enough for a runway, Jason had dark brown hair, gel sculpting every strand in place, and soft brown eyes that held a warmth I wanted to wrap myself in. If he was a few inches taller and more muscular, he'd make a perfect Superman.”

The "handle" is Superman. Specific traits are hair color, eye color, and being fashionable. Rae has brown eyes, so she notices that trait. Her description also shows that she likes the man.

Throughout the story, I dribble in reminders of the characters’ appearance. When Terence O'Neil is nervous, he rubs his beard. When the sheriff appears suddenly at an abandoned house, "his massive frame" fills the doorway.

In a future post, I’ll tell you about the sequel I’m writing about Rae and the relatives, friends, and enemies she discovers in Marlin County, Ohio. If you’d like to meet Rae and solve the mystery of her mother’s attack and her father’s identity, follow me on Facebook, Instagram, my blog, or Goodreads, then comment here. I’ll enter you in a drawing for a hard copy of Christmas fiction off the beaten path and announce the winner on May 29. If you win, you’ll get five more off-beat Christmas stories, including “Crystal Christmas” by Michelle!

*****

JPC Allen started her writing career in second grade with an homage to Scooby Doo. She’s been tracking down mysteries ever since. A former children’s librarian, she is a member of ACFW and has written mystery short stories for Mt. Zion Ridge Press. Online, she offers writing tips and prompts to beginning writers. She also leads writing workshops for tweens, teens, and adults, encouraging them to discover the adventure of writing. A lifelong Buckeye, she has deep roots in the Mountain State. Join the adventure on her Facebook, Instagram, or Goodreads.